The Weight Of Entrepreneurship
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Today was the first day in a long time that I didn’t wake up with the -at times suffocating – weight of entrepreneurship on my shoulders. Not as if anything has physically changed… my company is still active and I still run it – but clearly something shifted…
I checked myself – kind of like the way you frantically check your pockets for your car keys thinking you misplaced them. It was just here a second ago… what happened? Where is it? Shouldn’t it be here?
I’ve celebrated a lot of wins in my business and my life this year. Amazing! Yay! Oh my goodness! I look at my husband and say “can you believe this is real life?!”
And as we come down from the high I realize I am faced with:
…New level, new devil.
Every time I get closer, the finish line is pushed further.
The challenges get tougher.
The faceplants fall harder.
The investment becomes more expensive and carry more risk.
The more I learn, the less I know.
I’m right back at the start.
But… … …
Today is different. Today I’ve shifted from a focus of risk, anxiety and fear to one of realization and truth. Because today I finally admitted to myself this one thing and it changed everything.
I’ve finally become comfortable with the truth that I will never feel like I’ve “made it”. That I never want to know what it feels like to stop making goals and reaching them. And that I don’t want to get off the rollercoaster. No matter how many twists, turns, and loops leave me cowered in the corner, holding on to the side rail of life – trying with all that’s in me not to give in, not to throw up.
Because – the truth is… If you’re not growing, you’re dying. You’re dying in your health, your relationships, your business…
This idea of a finish line, of running so hard, out of breath, reaching a victory, only to come to a hard stop… is more terrifying than the Goliath of a dream I’m fighting to achieve.
It’s not about making it anymore. It’s about being on the hunt, about the challenge, the climb, the chase. It’s about bigger, bolder and lasting impact.
And it never stops. I don’t ever WANT it to stop! Whether its a revenue goal, a completed project, a journey of health or a marriage on fire – it only gets bigger, it only gets better – I – only get better.
It never means you work, struggle and hustle until you finally reach a point of stability. It means you’re in transition for the rest of your life.
Exciting. Intimidating transition on a rollercoaster that has no brakes, no seat belts and no guarantees.
And you know what? That’s exactly how it should be. If there’s anyone who should be on the hunt, conquering and living to make a bigger impact, it’s us. The entrepreneurs. Because without us – the world doesn’t change, innovation never surfaces and life as it could be – as it should be – ceases to exist.
So is there pain, struggle, blood sweat and tears? YES. But, is it everything you were meant for? Without a doubt. Embrace it. Lean into it. It’s who we are.
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